They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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