so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
its liver damage thursday
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
