When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes