My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing