The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.