do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina