My room smells like vodka and shame
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
