If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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