Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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