I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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