Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
should my penis look like a turkey
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
This is my gift to your gina
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
