dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Drunk is a universal language darling
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
