I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
