Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
