I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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