I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize