Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize