Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
