He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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