PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
