I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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