A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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