I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
