Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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