It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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