stop calling my apartment porn island.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
