WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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