Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
