i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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