big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
