I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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