You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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