Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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