I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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