I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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