Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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