Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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