so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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