it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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