69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
