i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
