Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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