her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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