I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
