We're like a lot better than the average bears
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
