she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
