shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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