He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
