My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
