i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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