All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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