Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
