What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
