R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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