sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
