I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
