About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
