I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
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He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
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Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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