drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Randomize
