New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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