Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
