she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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