So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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