I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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