so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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