you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
