I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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